When it comes to difficulties experienced during sex, for men it seems that ejaculation is a major focal point. Yes, that pleasurable explosion that men are consumed with can be a big sexual sticking point when you don’t have control of it.
In the case of controlling ejaculation it’s more common that men are searching for a fix for premature ejaculation, however for other men they experience the inability to ejaculate during sex at all. Being able to have sex forever without ejaculating might sound like a dream for guys with premature ejaculation, however it can be a nightmare for some men who have a problem ejaculating during intercourse at all. This can lead to personal frustration, and even insecurities on your woman’s part. After all, if you can’t cum during sex she might feel like it’s her fault or that she doesn’t turn you on.
Here are some things to consider if you have difficulty ejaculating during sex:
1. Stop Desensitizing Your Brain – in other words stop watching porn. While you’re at it put down the magazines full of air brushed women, and limit your visual intake of artificial flesh all together. We live in a time where the most extreme sexual simulations are only a click away. Add in the amount of perfect female bodies in magazines, movies, and television and our primitive brains become soggy with too much visual stimulation. This desensitizes the brain to normal healthy sexual activity, and has led to a great deal of men “needing” a more intense sexual scenario to get off.
2. Stop Desensitizing Your Penis – in other words stop masturbating. There’s nothing wrong with masturbation in general, but it can lead to desensitizing yourself to the actual act of sex. Her vagina can’t match the tight grip of your hand. When you condition yourself to “need” a certain stimulation to ejaculate, it’s going to be difficult to cum during real intercourse. If that means you have to go longer before you “release”, consider that a good thing, because you will be more sensitive to her touch.
3. Teach Her Vagina To Squeeze – this means teach your woman how to do PC Muscle exercises. While the clenching walls of her vagina may never match your exacting grip during masturbation, teaching her to do Kegel exercises will allow her vaginal walls to firmly squeeze your penis, making for a more pleasurable experience for you (AND HER) during intercourse.
4. Teach Her How To Touch You – I’m talking about showing her how you like to be touched. No one is more experienced at touching your penis to make it feel good as you are, so there is nothing wrong with showing her exactly how you like it. Or maybe she could learn a few new techniques and surprise you by touching you better than you touch yourself!
5. Stop “Thinking” During Sex – be honest with yourself… are you experiencing fear or thinking too much during intercourse? If so, you’re inhibiting your ejaculation. Your natural primal sense to unapologetically spread your seed as much as possible could be getting interrupted with modern necessity to be cautious. Perhaps you’re conscious mind is a little hesitant to let you explode during the act of sex (despite your careful use of a condom and birth control) in fear of consequences. While it’s fantastic to be careful, this level of watchful thinking goes against the grain of your male primal urge to inseminate women and procreate our species. Or maybe you’re worried about what she’s thinking, or fear being judged for not being able to ejaculate causing a self-fulfilling prophecy of the inability to ejaculate. Either way there is too much “thinking” going on during intercourse. Practice letting your mind be completely quiet and in the moment during sex. Let go of any fears or “what ifs” that might be playing out in your head.
Whatever you do, don’t blame your partner for your inability to ejaculate. The change starts with you! Be honest with yourself, and take action to make some of the changes above to improve your own outcome in the bedroom.
My man can’t keep it hard enough to insert in my vagina so all we have is oral.
Can you help us?
Jason Julius says
I have a course about ED coming out VERY soon stay tuned to my newsletter for a launch announcement.
My BF is unable to come during oral sex. He has only done it once..ever. I know it’s a mental thing, but how can I help him get past it and “let it go.” I’m very sure that he enjoys my technique, so it’s just getting him out of his own head. Help?
I’m actually in the same boat as your BF. I’ve never been able to come while receiving oral, though I’ve always enjoyed getting it. I’ve got no idea why though. I’ve even try to prep for it by relaxing before, getting a massage, increasing my sensitivity, etc., but no matter how close I get, I can’t cross that threshold and come. I’m not exactly sure how to address the problem. Help?
Dan B. says
More Great info from Jason! I have learned more from Jason Julius in 3 months than I have learned in 53 years. Jason is the man!