Hey, Jason Julius here, and I want to make this video to explain further something important that will help if you’re losing your erection, or having any type of performance anxiety, in or out of the bedroom. Now, in my previous videos about performance anxiety, I explained that when it is happening in the moment, the key is to recognize that there’s a part of your mind that is trying to protect you. And rather than fall for the illusion that the mind is sending you, that you might lose your erection, realize that it’s simply a part of your mind trying to avoid a painful outcome, and the best course of action is to recognize it, and to love it. Say to yourself, “My mind is interpreting this situation, and seeing a threat. It thinks if I lose my erection, I might be judged, or lose love in some way.”
Now, being gentle with the mind, and saying, “I love that,” and recognizing the illusion will allow you to get back into that moment. Now, inevitably. When I tell guys this, there are some that say, “But Jason, I don’t love it. In fact, I hate it.” And I completely understand that, you’re in the moment with your woman, and you want to be able to have that intimate moment go the way that you want. Yet that’s just the issue, isn’t it? Your outcome dependence now creates a situation where your survival mind gets involved, and feels threatened when things don’t go its way. If we get angry, or stressed about it, we feed the survival mind more energy, and we create tension in the body, and adrenaline stress hormones start to flow, and we create a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you resist, you trigger your fight, or flight response, and your body goes into a state of escaping danger.
The mind can’t discern if the danger is real. It just feels the emotions that you feed it, and it reacts appropriately. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to maintain in an erection when your fight or flight system, which is also called the sympathetic nervous system, is activated. Now, when we realize that we have this survival part of our mind, some call it the ego, the small self, the inner child. When we see that it’s simply a part of us, and simply creating an illusion of a negative outcome to keep us protected, we can see it as an illusion, and laugh to ourselves, and say, “Oh, my inner child is trying to keep me safe, because it’s creating a false belief in this moment. And I love that.” When you learn to meditate, after a while you begin to see that there’s almost appears to be two versions of you, living inside of you. There’s the voice, and dialogue, and constant stream of thoughts, and then there’s also the still observer you, who is indifferent to outcome, and simply living purely in the moment.
Now, the noisy constant thinking part of your mind is part of your survival mind that is constantly scanning for threats to avoid. When you’re able to cultivate more stillness in your mind, you realize that this constant activity of your mind isn’t really you, but rather it’s more like a software program that’s designed to help you survive. Now, we’ll get more into the survival mind in future videos, but for now, I want you to create a bit of separation, and awareness, that this process is constantly happening in a part of your mind, a constant scanning for threatening outcomes, real or imagined, so that when it acts as a saboteur, you can have the presence of awareness to say, “Oh, that’s that saboteur that Jason’s talking about. It’s actually trying to keep me safe, and I love that it’s there.”
Now, you might lose your erection a time, or two, before you really get this. But afterwards you’ll look back at those moments as if they’re gifts, because they were the catalysts for you to discover a deeper knowing of how to navigate the mind, because this is constantly going on in the rest of your life. And when you begin to be aware of it, it puts you in the driver’s seat to be confident, and present in any moment.
Your mind is constantly creating these illusions and what if scenarios to keep you safe. And when you realize that, you can see through that illusion, and be more confident talking in front of crowds, approaching and talking to beautiful women, and all the other places in life where you might be feeling self-conscious, when in actuality you’re just falling for the illusions of the ego survival mind. Now, when you really get this, you’ll never be self-conscious again. You’ll see that everything is neutral, yes, even losing your erection. It isn’t until you emotionally charge things that the mind, and body begin to react. So next time you start losing your erection, just laugh and say, “I love that.” Truly feel love for yourself in that moment, and let go of outcome. That’s when we really begin to realize that surrender is our true superpower rather than trying to control everything with our mind. I hope that helps. If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments below.